Cigarettes and Easter Eggs
by PolyKarbon
Summary: Cigarettes and Easter eggs...need we say more? COMPLETED!
1. Holiday

Cigarettes and Easter Eggs 

Author: BoogedyBoogedyBooStripedySocks

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Humor

Warnings: mild language, sadistic humor, moments of randomness

Summary: Cigarettes and Easter eggs…need we say more?

Chapter One: Holiday

Our favorite evil Dark Lord was sitting on his throne/chair thingy in the study of Riddle Manor which he took after he had killed his biological father and his wife and child. He was bored. Not just bored. No…more like insanely close to passing out from boredom. Yes, that's the one.

Anywho, he was so bored that he called for his faithful, cowardly henchman, Wormtail.

"WORMTAIL!" He whined like a child that wanted chocolate cake. Oh how he loved his chocolate cake.

"Y-y-yes, M'Lord?" The coward asked, bowing and kissing the hem of Voldie's robes.

"I'm bored. Are they done hiding my Easter eggs yet?" He whined in a high-pitched-ish hissing voice. (That can NOT sound pretty…)

"Y-yes, sir." He trembled.

"Oh goody!" he said, clapping his hands together and kicking his legs in the air. He grabbed his little pastel green basket with a big pink bow on the front and skipped out the double doors and onto the grounds. "Luuuuuciuuussssss!"He called in a sickeningly sweet voice while batting his eyes like a little girl. "Sevvi! Where are yooouuuuu?"

"Over heeeerrrreeee….."Came the raspy, ghoulish reply from somewhere near a large mausoleum. Suddenly, as he walked unsuspectingly towards it, two skeletons jumped from behind it.

"AURGH!" yelled the skeletons.

There came a defining silence…and then….

A/N: Muahahaha….cliffys. You MUST love them. Read and review. Flames will be used to light a fire over which my friend, our cat, and I shall roast marshmallows and make yummy ickle s'mores.


	2. Eep!

In the last chapter: There was a deafening silence…and then…

Chapter 2: Eep!

"…….EEEEEEEPPPPP!"

Voldemort yelped and fell to the ground in a fetal position, hugging his precious basket to his chest.

"NO! Please mister skelington men, don't kill me!" He began to cry.

"Umm…BOO!" Severus/Skeleton #1 yelled.

"AUGH!" Voldie yelped again and squeezed his eyes shut.

Lucius/Skeleton #2 hit Severus upside the back of the head. "You moron."

Suddenly, Voldie stood and ran towards the manor. Crying like a school girl mind you. He ran to his room and fell to the floor, rolling under his large king-sized mahogany four-poster bed. He lie there for what seemed like hours. Then…he heard footsteps. He curled up into a ball and closed his eyes shut.

"M'lord?" Wormtail asked, shaking slightly.

"Y-y-yes?" He squeeked back.

"Severus and Lucius are waiting for you in your study." He muttered, adding a 'sir.' To the end and hurrying out of the room.

He rolled from under the bed slowly, looking around his room for anything scary or unusual and stood up. He strolled from the room with a forced air of power, but inside, he was scared to death. He stopped in front of the study door. Brushing invisible dust and dirt from his robes, he threw one last look of fear over his shoulder and walked in.

A/N: Read and Review and as always…flames are welcomed for we need fuel for our fire over which my friend, our kitten, and I roast our marshmallows and make yummy s'mores.(While we discuss plans on how to ruin Voldie and his bad reputation.)


	3. Awakening

Chapter 3: Awakening

Voldemort snaps up in his bed. "What…the bloody ell…."He breathed deeply. "And people say I'M scary. Pft! Yeah right. Let's see how they like a dream like that. Stupid muggles. THEY'LL all DIE!"

"Erg…M'Lord?Are you…okay?" Severus asked, leaning over the snake-like man, false worry in his dark eyes.

"Yes. You didn't hear anything. Goodnight." He said turning over and going back to sleep.

"But my lord, I heard you…"

"NO! You didn't hear ANYTHING!" He yelled, falling asleep as Severus fainted from fright.

He pulled his stuffed purple unicorn…erm, I mean, voodoo doll…close, a smile on his face . "Goodnight, Mr. Pinkle…erm, I mean, Mr. …umm… Paininflictingvoodoodoll.

A/N: I had fun with this. You know by now that flames are welcome and what they are used for. Please R&R. BTW….THE END! (for now….-shifty glance then runs off to plan more evil plot bunnies against Voldemort.)


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